Tell Me What You Want, Justin J. Lehmiller
Tell Me What You Want, Justin J. Lehmiller
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Tell Me What You Want
The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life

Author: Justin J. Lehmiller

Narrator: Justin J. Lehmiller

Unabridged: 7 hr 41 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Publisher: Balance

Published: 08/14/2018

Includes: Bonus Material Bonus Material Included

Synopsis

From a leading expert on human sexuality and author of the Sex and Psychology blog, an overview of sexual fantasies–and how to get more satisfaction and pleasure–based on a monumental scientific survey.

What do Americans really want when it comes to sex? And is it possible for us to get it? Justin J. Lehmiller has made it his career's ambition to answer these questions.
Tell Me What You Want offers an unprecedented look into our fantasy worlds and what they reveal about us. It helps readers to better understand their own sexual desires and how to attain them within their relationships, while also appreciating the different desires of their partners.

If we only better understood the incredible diversity of human sexual desire, we would experience less anxiety, and shame about our own sexual fantasies and better understand the needs of our partners. Ultimately, this book will help readers to enhance their sex lives.

About Justin J. Lehmiller

Justin J. Lehmiller, PhD, is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. He hosts the popular Sex and Psychology podcast and is author of the bestselling book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life.

Reviews

Goodreads review by Amanda on October 13, 2018

I picked this book up because I hoped it'd be educational, which it partially was. As I kept reading, it became clear to me that there was a distinct focus on heterosexual cis people. In sections where I expected the author to talk more about different sexualities or gender presentations, he did not......more

Goodreads review by Dr. on December 11, 2018

I spend a lot of time in the sex fantasy world writing, sex-positive literary erotica, it thrilled me when this book came out. As a retired sex therapist who loves sex science, I couldn’t wait to see the results of a large research study. Justin Lehmiller writes with a knack for plain speak about re......more

Goodreads review by Vasco on October 22, 2018

The bad: not necessarily a bad thing, but I was expecting a book on how the science and all the statistics presented in a book actually translate to novelty in the bedroom. Specific techniques or similar. The book feels, in fact, like a scientific manual, but it's presented like a set of statistics......more

Goodreads review by Bon Tom on September 23, 2022

Absolutely perfect sexual education for grownups, that you didn't even know you needed. Choke-full of genitalia blowing facts of the best kind: some of them completely counterintuitive, and others contrarian to widely accepted, "official" corpus of knowledge. Due to overpowering and all-pervading na......more

Goodreads review by steffy ✿ on January 25, 2019

It was okay. It started off really interesting to see just how many people were fantasizing about certain things. None of it was particularly surprising to me, but it was intriguing nonetheless. After a certain point, I realized that a lot of generalizations/assumptions were happening. The author wo......more

Quotes

"Not since Nancy Friday has anyone so comprehensively and confidently blown the lid off our deep and secret desires, and revealed the extent to which we humans are endlessly inventive, flexible sexual and social strategists."—Wednesday Martin, PhD, author of the New York Times #1 bestseller Primates of Park Avenue and Untrue

"A penetrating, erotic X-ray into the hidden recesses of our sexual psyches. Illuminating and incisive, Lehmiller lays bare the gray matter of great sex."
—Ian Kerner, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First

"Have a deep, dark sex fantasy that you've never shared with anyone? Turns out, you're not alone. Most people are afraid their sex fantasies are abnormal, but Justin Lehmiller's newest book reveals that understanding your erotic imaginings, and sharing them with your sex partner might be the best, healthiest thing you do all year. Tell Me What You Want educates, titillates, thrills and guides us down a marvelous, sexy path that ends in acceptance of those naughty secrets in the basements of our minds."
—David J. Ley, PhD, author of The Myth of Sex Addiction

"Lehmiller's smart, warm, sex-positive book breaks the toxic silence around our sexual fantasies. Reading it may be the best thing you ever do for your sex life, your relationships and your self-acceptance."—Geoffrey Miller, author of The Mating Mind, Spent, and Mate

"Lehmiller's groundbreaking book points to an alarming divide between the conversations we're having about sex and the conversation we should be having about sex. It provides the nudge we need to change the conversation--and, in doing so, to live healthier, hotter lives."—Eli J. Finkel, Professor of Psychology, Northwestern University

"Tell Me What You Want provides a scientifically grounded, non-judgmental assessment of where things stand in the sexual lives and fantasies of Americans. With an open-minded approach and fluid prose, this book is highly recommended for anyone looking for a road-map of where American sexuality is at the moment, and where many Americans would like to be going soon."—Christopher Ryan, PhD, co-author of the New York Times bestseller Sex at Dawn

"Sheds some light on the topic of fantasies, including who has them, how common they are and how they change over a person's lifetime."—Wall Street Journal

"A treasure trove of nuggets about the American sexual psyche...Engaging, provocative, and easy to read."—Dr. Michael Aaron's Psychology Today blog, "Standard Deviations"

"[An] illuminating book...Armed with research, [Dr. Lehmiller] describes our collective fantasies and helps make sense of what they might mean, tackling everything from how they're connected to personalities to how our sexual histories shape desires."—Goop

"If you've ever had a sexual fantasy and thought, 'Oh God, what's wrong with me?' a quick read of Tell Me What You Want...might ease your mind...Lehmiller isn't just putting out a compendium of our raciest thoughts; he tries to explain what those thoughts do for the health of our psyches...He gives concrete advice."
—New York Times Book Review

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