It Didnt Start With You, Mark Wolynn
It Didnt Start With You, Mark Wolynn
11 Rating(s)
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It Didn't Start With You
How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

Author: Mark Wolynn

Narrator: Mark Wolynn

Unabridged: 8 hr 16 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Publisher: Penguin Audio

Published: 04/26/2016

Includes: Bonus Material Bonus Material Included


Synopsis

A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field
 
Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains—but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited—that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn’t Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood.
 
As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn’t Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn’t Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.

Includes a bonus PDF with diagrams and writing exercises

About The Author

Mark Wolynn is a leading expert on inherited family trauma. He is the winner of the 2016 Silver Nautilus Award in Psychology. As the director of The Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco, he has trained thousands of clinicians and treated thousands more patients struggling with depression, anxiety, panic disorder, obsessive thoughts, self-injury, chronic pain, and illness. A sought-after lecturer, he leads workshops at hospitals, clinics, conferences, and teaching centers around the world. He has taught at the University of Pittsburgh, the Western Psychiatric Institute, Kripalu, The Omega Institute, The New York Open Center, and The California Institute of Integral Studies. His articles have appeared in Psychology TodayMind Body Green, MariaShriver.comElephant Journal and Psych Central, and his poetry has been published in The New Yorker. www.markwolynn.com.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Reading Cat on December 05, 2019

I made the mistake of reading Goodreads reviews of this book. Oy. Y'all. Y'AAAAAALLLL. The main bashing this book comes in for is that 'oh if your parents are toxic this book is *dangerous*' because he suggests reconciling with family and family issues. Sweet Christmas, people, can you actually read......more

Goodreads review by Cwilson466 on June 29, 2016

There are some useful pieces of information in this book, but the majority of it is pseudoscience. The author points to "empirical evidence" in support of his assertions that are either not empirical at all, or that conclude something not quite relevant for the author's assertion. I would sum up the......more

Goodreads review by Prettywitty77 on December 13, 2019

Let me start by saying- IGNORE THE NEGATIVE REVIEWS ABOUT THIS BOOK. I found this book to be quite helpful! I was able to link my core statement to my past family trauma. I will say that the author gave TONS of examples in this book. However, every few examples I was able to dig deeper into more trau......more

Goodreads review by Morgan on May 11, 2023

Delightfully unencumbered by facts. However big hearted, and on point at times. One EXTREMELY off putting issue is how the author goes on at length about the need for the adult child to repair with estranged parents. While this may be useful and healing for some. There are many imaginable scenarios......more

Goodreads review by Charlie on May 25, 2018

I do think the author was too forgiving (even dismissive) of abuse, and parts of the book felt kind of new-agey or otherwise hard to believe, but it gave me some things to think about.......more


Quotes

One of Healthline’s 13 Best Mental Health Books of 2022
One of Cosmopolitan’s 15 Books About Mental Health That Everyone Should Read
One of Men’s Health’s 20 Best Mental Health Books to Read in 2022
One of Choosing Therapy’s 10 Best PTSD & Trauma Books for 2021
Winner of the 2016 Nautilus Book Award in Psychology
Finalist for the 2016 Books for a Better Life Award
 
“Mark Wolynn does a masterful job of illuminating the ways in which our ancestors’ unresolved suffering, often unknown to us, disables us and binds us painfully to them. He gives us the tools and skills—an approach that combines understanding, imaginative dialogues, and compassionate reconnection—to free and heal ourselves.” 
—James S. Gordon, MD, author of Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out of Depression

It Didn’t Start with You takes us a big step forward, advancing the fields of trauma therapy, mindfulness applications, and human understanding. It is a bold, creative, and compassionate work.”
—Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness
 
“This groundbreaking book offers a compelling understanding of inherited trauma and fresh, powerful tools for relieving its suffering. Mark Wolynn is a wise and trustworthy guide on the journey toward healing.”
—Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge

“Mark Wolynn’s extraordinary book cracks the secret code of families and proves that you can go home again—once you understand how history made you. Full of life-changing stories, powerful insights, and practical tools for personal healing, It Didn't Start With You deserves a place on your bookshelf next to Alice Miller’s The Drama of the Gifted Child and Dan Siegel’s The Developing Mind. You’ll never see your family the same way again.”
—Mark Matousek, author of Ethical Wisdom

“Bridging both neuroscience and psychodynamic thinking, It Didn’t Start with You provides the reader with Mark Wolynn’s hard-earned toolbox of do-it-yourself clinical aids and provocative insights.”
—Jess P. Shatkin, MD, MPH, Vice Chair for Education at NYU Langone Medical Center’s Child Study Center and author of Child & Adolescent Mental Health

“After reading It Didn’t Start with You, I found myself immediately able to apply Mark Wolynn’s techniques with my patients and saw incredible results, in a shorter time than with traditional psychotherapeutic techniques. I encourage you to read this book. It’s truly cutting edge.”
—Alexanndra Kreps, MD