Ready for Absolutely Nothing, Susannah Constantine
Ready for Absolutely Nothing, Susannah Constantine
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Ready for Absolutely Nothing
A Memoir

Author: Susannah Constantine

Narrator: Susannah Constantine

Unabridged: 10 hr 5 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Published: 01/31/2023


Synopsis

This darkly funny, confessional memoir from the star of What Not to Wear tells all: from her posh upbringing and the dishy details of her career in fashion to her journey as a recovering alcoholic. The fact that Susannah Constantine made her name as a 'style guru' as part of “Trinny and Susannah” from What Not to Wear is the least interesting thing about her. Susannah grew up amongst the great and good of British aristocracy and (unwittingly) trained to be a society bride. Fittingly, Barbara Cartland was her touchstone for romance: she wanted to be the underdog heroine who ended up marrying a prince. Instead she dated Princess Margaret’s son for several years and traveled in royal circles, including on the island of Mustique, where Princess Margaret–and Hachette author Anne Glenconner–owned homes and had holidays. When that marriage proposal never showed up, she dated Imran Khan –then a gorgeous playboy/cricket player and now the Prime Minister of Pakistan, before meeting her husband.

Hers is a tale full to the brim with extraordinary anecdotes. From lavatory dramas with Princess Margaret, to behind-the-scenes power struggles between Margaret Thatcher and the Queen at Balmoral and eye-opening sex-club etiquette with pop royalty–her social landscape has been nothing if not varied. Many of these stories are hilarious and snarky, some are painful, but all of them are honest, gossipy, and show that, in her words, she was “brought up to be ready for absolutely nothing.” In sharing a peek behind the curtain, Constantine does not hold back and many bold names appear in these pages from Elton John, Princess Diana, The Queen, Mick Jagger, Jerry Hall, Andy Warhol, and our own Anne Glenconner and her husband Colin Tenant.

But appearances are deceptive and beneath the balls and glamour, life has had a darker side: her mother's bipolar disorder, her father's inability to cope and her own subsequent alcoholism. Somehow, she had to forge her own life, away from the expectations of others. Which she did and does.
 
READY FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is for fans of The Crown, royal followers, readers of LADY IN WAITING, What Not To Wear fans and anyone who likes a gossipy memoir with bold faced names and a drop dead sense of humor.

The fact that Susannah Constantine made her name as a 'style guru' as part of “Trinny and Susannah” from What Not to Wear is the least interesting thing about her. Susannah grew up amongst the great and good of British aristocracy and (unwittingly) trained to be a society bride. Fittingly, Barbara Cartland was her touchstone for romance: she wanted to be the underdog heroine who ended up marrying a prince. Instead she dated Princess Margaret’s son for several years and traveled in royal circles, including on the island of Mustique, where Princess Margaret–and Hachette author Anne Glenconner–owned homes and had holidays. When that marriage proposal never showed up, she dated Imran Khan –then a gorgeous playboy/cricket player and now the Prime Minister of Pakistan, before meeting her husband.

Hers is a tale full to the brim with extraordinary anecdotes. From lavatory dramas with Princess Margaret, to behind-the-scenes power struggles between Margaret Thatcher and the Queen at Balmoral and eye-opening sex-club etiquette with pop royalty–her social landscape has been nothing if not varied. Many of these stories are hilarious and snarky, some are painful, but all of them are honest, gossipy, and show that, in her words, she was “brought up to be ready for absolutely nothing.” In sharing a peek behind the curtain, Constantine does not hold back and many bold names appear in these pages from Elton John, Princess Diana, The Queen, Mick Jagger, Jerry Hall, Andy Warhol, and our own Anne Glenconner and her husband Colin Tenant.

But appearances are deceptive and beneath the balls and glamour, life has had a darker side: her mother's bipolar disorder, her father's inability to cope and her own subsequent alcoholism. Somehow, she had to forge her own life, away from the expectations of others. Which she did and does.
 
READY FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is for fans of The Crown, royal followers, readers of LADY IN WAITING, What Not To Wear fans and anyone who likes a gossipy memoir with bold faced names and a drop dead sense of humor.

Reviews

Goodreads review by *TUDOR^QUEEN* on March 11, 2023

I knew zilch about this person, but after reading that she had dated Princess Margaret's son David for years I picked up this memoir. I love to read anything about the British Royals. While not royal herself, Susannah came from a wealthy family and moved in royal circles and with famous people such......more

Goodreads review by Nicola on December 16, 2022

3.5 stars. An absorbing memoir of a really fascinating life, yes one of great privilege, (which gives great anecdotes), but also one with many challenges. Susannah comes across as a resilient, funny and reflective woman who isn’t afraid to lay out her faults and also laugh at herself. It is a really......more

Goodreads review by Jane on October 06, 2022

5 juicy stars for Susannah’s galloping good memoir (she of Trinny & … fame). Well told and well crafted, SC uses a combination of her outside voice, with a nuance of chagrin to reflect on a life spent getting out from under the strictures of her class (high) and education (rather less high) and the......more

Goodreads review by Marina on July 26, 2023

Constantine and I were both youths in the 80s but our lives couldn’t have been more different. After an expensive education, she frequented society nightclubs and socialised with Princess Margaret, Elton John and ( raising my forearms in a cross in front of me) Margaret Thatcher. It was an interesti......more


Quotes

"Absolutely brilliant."—Elton John

"Wonderfully written, very funny, but more than anything completely genuine."—Lady Anne Glenconner, author of Lady in Waiting

"We lunched better than we danced."—Anton Du Beke, author of The Buckingham Series and host of Strictly Come Dancing”

"Shrewd, funny, ideally candid and written with great confidence, brio and aplomb. A feisty, thought-provoking delight."—William Boyd, author of Any Human Heart and A Good Man in Africa