Unconditional Parenting, Alfie Kohn
Unconditional Parenting, Alfie Kohn
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Unconditional Parenting
Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason

Author: Alfie Kohn

Narrator: Alfie Kohn

Unabridged: 8 hr 41 min

Format: Digital Audiobook Download

Publisher: Tantor Media

Published: 07/26/2016


Synopsis

One basic need all children have, educator Alfie Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time-outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.

More than just another book about discipline, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting—including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people.

About Alfie Kohn

Alfie Kohn writes and speaks widely on human behavior, education, and parenting. He is the author of fourteen books, including Unconditional Parenting and The Myth of the Spoiled Child (both available as Tantor audiobooks), and scores of articles. He lectures at education conferences and universities as well as to parent groups and corporations. Kohn lives (actually) in the Boston area and (virtually) at alfiekohn.org.


Reviews

Goodreads review by Ali on June 13, 2021

Gamechanging. Need to re-read / listen every few months once I (hopefully) become a parent. Super interesting even for non-parents. Note to self - need to re-read on Kindle for highlights + summary.......more

Goodreads review by Jeanine70 on January 21, 2009

I didn't want to like this book. What is it about “gentle” parenting types that makes them so obnoxious? Why does the phrase “unconditional parenting” make me want to hurl? Why do “lactivists” make me want to offer their children Dr. Pepper in a baby bottle? But really I love baby slings! And nursing!......more

Goodreads review by Amy on June 30, 2007

This book changed my life! It completely restructured my parenting paradigm, and I am now feel passionate about this message. Our culture has borne a generation of "praise junkies" - children whose behavior is motivated not by intrinsic goals, but by rewards or the avoidance of punishment. True, Clas......more

Goodreads review by Sonya on July 02, 2008

The concept of unconditional parenting appeals to me, the idea that we love our kids unconditionally: whether they behave, throw a tantrum, do (or don’t do) well in school. Kohn debunks many popular discipline strategies including time-outs, positive reinforcement and praise, reward systems, and pun......more

Goodreads review by Taylor on October 25, 2007

I have to give this book a wholehearted recommendation. It took me about a week to read it and caused what I can say was my first real "I'm-not-the-awesome-parent-I-thought-I-was" crisis. Which was so good for me. What if everything that you take for grated about parenting (time-outs, stickers for t......more